Inner Child Awareness

In my personal practice, I spend time with my life coaches so that I can wrangle my thoughts and belief systems with others who don't co-sign my own BS. I imagine myself as a championship #thoughtwrangler. I am able to wrangle many of my own thoughts, and yet it is quite fun and even humorous to bring my thoughts to someone else and let them see what has been cooking up in here.

I spent time with my local life coach, Vikki F. at her barn doing some inner child coaching. We talked about my little girl, and she suggested that I spend time with her. My little girl is one name for the inner child. Over the next few blogs I will talk about her and the many ways that she has taught me more about myself and her than I ever knew I would want to know. I discovered my inner child = little girl may need something from me. She could be in the closet of darkness and could be brought into the Light with some compassion, time, conversation, acceptance, etc. There was much time spent on talking about this aspect of myself. Certainly, when I looked back on my past, I found some core pieces or fractals of myself that had brought me pain to remember. Whatever was going on with her was actually having an affect on my thoughts, emotions and actions; therefore, personal results TODAY - whether I was conscious and aware of it or unconscious and oblivious to it.  

I was tasked with going home to find old photos of different parts of my little girl, looking upon her with compassion and asking her what she needed from me. This was completely foreign to me.  Vikki mentioned the little girl/inner child (I will use each interchangeably from here on out) might be hurt by throwing the light switch on if she has been hiding in the darkness. That it would not be compassionate to drag her out into the light. Maybe I needed to sit with her to gain her trust. Talk to her. Spend time with her and show her love. She needed love and didn’t get it the way she needed it. I can give it to her now.  This action started to bring some awareness that I would be having a present day conversation with the little girl who previously existed and we would be experiencing this moment at the same time.  That was an inner awakening to the knowing that we exist in all time not in the linear time as I previously imagined.  If I could speak to her now and heal an aspect of myself, then it would change the story of her. I had been creating a story around her that she was to some degree victimized, shamed, less than, afraid, not holding self worth, abandoned, not fully loved, etc. I was creating and recreating a story about her that included the highlight reel of the sad and difficult times. The good and loving times were left on the editing floor.  Could I be able to splice the movie back together in a way that would be of benefit? Was I creating a sad, melodrama through my editing? Would it be possible to send the whole film back though this editor and create a movie that was a romantic comedy or action adventure?   This is another awakening moment with the movie reel.